Sunday, August 27, 2023

Week 102.5 - The End

My dear friends, I am writing to you from the comforts of my home, Sandy Utah. I am no longer Elder, but Brother Wride. I just landed in Utah on Friday. Even though I'm no longer a missionary I thought I'd send one more email for the sake of complete closure.

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I don't remember a ton from Tuesday and Wednesday. I'm still in shock after coming home I guess and have a hard time remembering my last few days in the field. But I know we went out and did work. Tuesday we had lessons all day in hot, no a/c, haitian apartments. I wish I could talk more, but my companions have translated the comments I make. Another cool thing is that I got my Haitian Creole name tag! I was able to wear that for my last 2 days. Elder Christensen and Simmons were jealous because when they ordered their tags, they got Elder, not Èlde (which is the authentic Haitian Creole way)

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(Also got free Elote, aka corn, from a spanish member)

On Wednesday I had my departing interview with President Merritt. The 3 topics of our conversation were: 1) Education and Career 2) Dating and Marriage and 3) Being a lifelong disciple of Jesus Christ. It was a good conversation and at the end I left him with all of the granite rocks from the Temple Quarry. This is basically what I told him about the rocks:

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This is a bag of granite rocks from my home, Sandy Utah. My mom has a tradition with all of her missionaries, where she collects and gives us a bag of rocks when we leave for our missions. We give these out to the people we teach because these rocks are from the Quarry site for the Salt Lake Temple.

Workers began their quarry work in Sandy in 1861 and continued for 25 years. Moving the stones from Sandy to Salt Lake City took a lot of work. The stones could be up to 3 feet square and over 2 tons. For about 10 years the stones were pulled on 2 wheel wagons by oxen over a distance of 20 miles from Sandy to Salt Lake City. Many wagons broke down. In 1871 the railroad system was better developed and the walls of the temple were up by the late 1880s. The temple as a whole was under construction for about 40 years.

One of my regrets is that I thought giving away rocks to people was weird for the first half of my mission. I wish now that I had given mkre out. I feel strongly that these remaining rocks should not be taken back to Utah. I feel it is best that I give them to you to give out

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And then my last day was Thursday. It was a normal missionary day except for some packing. We were also able to meet with some recent converts, including Rosemary, to say goodbye. Below is a picture after my last lesson on the mission. It was with a new member named Marie Ange who was baptized maybe 3 weeks ago. We read Moroni 7 which is one of my favorite chapters in the Book of Mormon.

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This is Elder Simmons "killing" me since it's the end of my mission.

And the eventful day arrived. Woke up at 6, finished packing and kept the luggage under 50 lbs. We shortly after went to the airport to meet President and Sister Merritt. President Merritt took me through the process a little bit, and it turns out my bigger piece of luggage was at 50.0 lbs exactly, according to the airport scale. Went through security, and my plane left at 10 AM PT. I was hoping to do some good missionary work on the plane, but no one sat next to me. I don't know why—every other seat was taken. Everyone just plugged in their headphones for the flight. But I still like traveling so it was good. 

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I was scheduled to land at 1pm on Friday. As the time to see everybody got closer, it all became more surreal. I was nervous! It was really weird, but it was so good to see everyone at the airport: Mom and Dad, my siblings including Baby Katharine, and my Grandpa.

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After the airport we went to the grave site for my Grandma Wride. It's been about a month now since she passed and I still miss and think about her a lot. I think I always will. 

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We then had lunch at home for some food. At 4pm the Stake President came by and released me as a missionary. I thought I would feel very different than I do after getting released, but I don't. I still feel the same pretty much. We spent the rest of the day hanging out, playing games and talking.

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Since then I have not been up to too much. Seeing family and friends for the most part. Yesterday I spent a significant amount of time working on my homecoming talk which I gave earlier today. I will include it here as well as the spiritual thought. Just a warning, it is a long one, and took me roughly 20 minutes or so to speak. 

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Elder Wride Homecoming Talk

Good morning brothers and sisters

It is a joy to be with you and to be back home again. It is good to see so many familiar faces, friends and family members. For those who I have not met yet, my name is Hyrum Wride. I am the 4th oldest of the 13 Wride kids over there (wherever they are). This past Friday I returned from my full-time mission in the California, San Diego Mission. I will be home for about 2 weeks before going up to BYU Idaho for school and I am excited about what the future will bring.

My Mission was an amazing experience and I will be forever grateful for it. It all now feels like a dream. How one condenses 2 years into 1 talk is beyond me, but I will do my best.

The California, San Diego Mission covers San Diego county and the Imperial Valley. San Diego is the second largest city in California, and the 8th largest in the U.S. The mission has a population of about 3.5 Million people with 8 stakes of the church. Right now there are about 170 missionaries serving in 9 different languages: English, Spanish, American Sign Language, Haitian Creole, Tagalog, Arabic, Swahili, Farsi and Mandarin Chinese. One of my favorite parts about San Diego is that it is a super diverse place with people from all parts of the world. Despite being called an English Missionary, I was able to spend 12 weeks in a hybrid English/Tagalog ward, and my last 3 weeks fully in Haitian Creole. I tried to learn, but I don't speak much of either.

On my mission I had 9 different areas: Poway, the area around SDSU, Otay Lakes, Lakeside, Encinitas, National City, Brawley, Del Cerro and City Heights. In these areas I had a total of 17 different companions.

Having grown up in the church, with a legacy of missionaries and good examples, I had always planned on serving a mission. As a young man the time got closer and closer, and it scared me. I knew it would be hard and really had no idea what I was getting into. My initial reason for submitting my papers and getting on the plane was because it made sense to serve a mission! It is a big part of our culture and it just made sense. But as my mission went on, my reason changed. As I continued to serve, I decided to stay on my mission because I gained a testimony that the message was true. Missionary work was hard, as I thought, but I needed to be true to my conversion. At least 90% percent of the days on my mission I woke up not feeling like doing missionary work. But at the end of every day, I felt best when I had given the day my all.

I would like to share with you a list about some of the things that I have learned on my mission:

- I learned how to properly iron a dress shirt
- I learned that there is a difference between shampoo and conditioner
- I learned how to solve a Rubix cube
- I learned that some bleach and stain remover can work wonders for white shirts
- I learned how it hard it can be to be with someone 24/7
- I learned the importance of recording and journaling because of how easy it is for us to forget
- I learned how to talk to people better
- I learned that communication and giving 100% are both very important practices in companionships
- I learned that there is great truth in paradoxes
- I learned that persistency is more important than perfection
- I learned that there is nobody you would not love if you knew their story
- I learned that we are actually given more than we give up when we sacrifice to the Lord
- I learned that how we spend our day to day is important because its how we spend our lives
- I learned that if the Bible is true, then the church is true
- I learned more about the grace of Jesus Christ and who He is

One of the big surprises of my mission is that missionaries are basically still high schoolers. I always knew that kids in high school could be crazy, irresponsible, or wild punks, but I guess I always figured that there was some point of maturity in between high-school and the mission. That may be the case for some, but there were a lot of missionaries that I’ve met where that wasn't the case. The older I've gotten, the more crazy the concept seems of the Lord's work being largely entrusted in the hands of such young people. What other organization besides the church, trusts tens of thousands of young adults to go into all parts of the world without wreaking havoc? A wise man once said “If the church wasn’t true, the missionaries would’ve destroyed it a long time ago”. Elder Jeffrey R. Holland also once said that it’s one of the wonders of the world that missionaries do what they do.

I again, am so grateful for my mission. There is just so much that happened and changed. In just a homecoming talk I feel that I could not share "a hundredth" of all that happened: the miracles, blessings, spiritual experiences, and amazing people that I've met.

One of my favorite people that I’ve taught, was a lady named Amy. Amy is an older single lady who is taking care of her aunt Patsy who has Alzheimer’s. Amy is a wonderful example of having her joy be swallowed up in Christ. She does not have a lot of family support in taking care of Patsy, and told us that it gets really hard sometimes to take care of her and see her fading. She is very busy and does her best to take care of her, but feels like her burdens are heavy. It was while she was taking care of her aunt that she sought out the church and wanted to learn more. We had a couple of lessons with her and were excited for her progress. Not long after meeting her we got transfer news and found out both my companion and I would be leaving. The night before transfers we had a lesson with her and she was having her hardest time. She told us a lot about how she was feeling and we were glad to be there for her. At the end, she asked what kind of music we had in our church and I pulled up “Consider the Lilies' ' by the Tabernacle Choir. A very special and powerful spirit came into the room during the song. Amy told us that she feels the spirit when we come by. Despite her trials, and people telling her bad things about the church, she said she knew she was feeling drawn. Today Amy is still meeting with the missionaries and I am hopeful for her progress.

As we develop faith in the Savior, we recognize that if He really did perform His sacrifice for us, then we have no reason but to be of good cheer, regardless of our circumstance. Any and all kinds of adversity become small when compared to the gospel, promises of the Lord, and the grandeur of eternity with Him and our families. His promises are sure, so long as we focus and hold onto Him. One of my favorite scriptures in Moroni 9 says:

"25 My son, be faithful in Christ; and may not the things which I have written grieve thee, to weigh thee down unto death; but may Christ lift thee up, and may his sufferings and death, and the showing his body unto our fathers, and his mercy and long-suffering, and the hope of his glory and of eternal life, rest in your mind forever."

It will all work out. He will take care of the mortal messiness of our lives, and we will see our loved ones again. We can have joy and good cheer because of Him. 

My personal testimony also grew a lot on my mission. Whenever I have been asked what I learned on my mission, the most important answer is that I have learned that the church and the gospel are true. From the beginning of the online MTC, one my favorite things about being a missionary was the opportunity to sincerely and fully dive deep into the gospel. I quickly fell in love with Personal Study time to read the scriptures and pray. My favorite thing to study was The Book of Mormon. Although I always knew the stories, on my mission I felt like I was reading it for the first time. Its purity, simplicity, spirit and complexity was amazing. It was no longer boring to me, but it came alive. Reading and praying about it, I have received multiple witnesses, again and again, that the Book of Mormon is true. The promise of the book is that those who read, ponder, and pray about the Book of Mormon sincerely will gain a testimony of its truth. 

Additionally, President Gordon B. Hinckley taught that “those who have read [the Book of Mormon] prayerfully, be they rich or poor, learned or unlearned, have grown under its power.” He further taught: “Without reservation I promise you that if you will prayerfully read the Book of Mormon, regardless of how many times you previously have read it, there will come into your hearts an added measure of the Spirit of the Lord. There will come a strengthened resolution to walk in obedience to his commandments, and there will come a stronger testimony of the living reality of the Son of God”.

I am very grateful for the Book of Mormon, and the keystone that it is. It was one of my favorite things to share as a missionary because it is our unique message, and is God's compelling witness of the gospel.

I feel and see now how clear the gospel and truthfulness of it is. I have felt and experienced undeniable witnesses that it is true. I resonate with the scripture Luke 24:32, after 2 disciples have an interaction with Christ. “And they said one to another, Did not our heart burn within us, while he talked with us by the way, and while he opened to us the scriptures?”

Earlier this year Elder Mark Bragg, who gave a recent General Conference talk "Christlike Poise", came and spoke to us at a Zone Conference. He shared an analogy with us as it relates to these moments of clarity. He said life is like driving in a car in heavy rain. When it's raining, our vision can be obscured. But, with our windshield wipers on, we will have moments of complete clarity to see where we are going. In a similar way, the adversary is constantly raining distractions, temptations, and anything else he can on us to obscure our vision in our day to day lives. But as we make consistent efforts to live and learn the gospel, we will have moments, fuelled by the spirit, of great clarity. Sometimes these moments take time, I know it has for me, but it does come. I have had countless experiences where I feel like my vision is a little obscured, or I have doubts, but every time I come through with greater clarity and understanding.

When I feel like I don’t see clearly, I remember that when you boil it down, the most important things we need to ask ourselves are these questions:

1) Is there a God in Heaven who knows and loves us?
2) Did Jesus Christ really live, die, and rise again and enable us to live with God and our families again?
3) Is the Book of Mormon true? Was Joseph Smith a Prophet?

These are really the only questions that make all the difference. The answer to all of these questions is Yes, but we each need to find these answers for ourselves. The work of finding out is worth all of the effort in the world, because it is true, it means everything. Knowing the answers to these questions for ourselves allows us to press forward when we have different wrestles. For example, maybe you struggle to know why good people go through hard things. Do you know that God knows and loves you? If so, you can be assured and hopeful that God is mindful of His children, and is taking care of them, despite the difficult circumstances. Or maybe you struggle with negative things you've been told by friends or online about the church, leaders or the Prophet Joseph Smith. Do you know that the Book of Mormon is true? If so, you know that the negativity, even if it's true, does not invalidate Joseph Smith being a true prophet or the authenticity of the Book of Mormon. Knowing the answers to these important questions gives us firm hope in any circumstance.

As I grew in understanding of the gospel, I also grew in understanding of the disparity in the world. It was the most intense kind of sorry I experienced to realize how many people are lost and do not have what we have. I often related to these words in Alma 29:

" 1 O that I were an angel, and could have the wish of mine heart, that I might go forth and speak with the trump of God, with a voice to shake the earth, and cry repentance unto every people! 2 Yea, I would declare unto every soul, as with the voice of thunder, repentance and the plan of redemption, that they should repent and come unto our God, that there might not be more sorrow upon all the face of the earth"

I remember wishing so strongly that everyone knew what I know. It was so hard to realize that there are millions of people out there suffering, and their lives could be so much better if they had what we have. There is so much despair and confusion in the world, and there are so many who do not see.

Within the church, I was also shocked to realize how many people fall away. At least in the wards I served in, most baptized members who were on our record list, were no longer coming to church.

As a missionary I have been able to meet so many different kinds of people and see the great difference in the quality, joy and fruits of people's lives. From my experience, I feel very strongly that the Latter-day Saints are the best kind of people. In the same way I got to know non-members, I was also able to come to know the members of the church on a deeper level. Rather than just seeing them at church, I was able to enter their homes, feel the spirit there and learn about their stories and testimonies. I was able to see the fruit of their lives and their goodness. One of my favorite quotes by the Prophet Joseph Smith is “let me be resurrected with the Saints, whether I ascend to heaven or descend to hell, or go to any other place. And if we go to hell, we will turn the devils out of doors and make a heaven of it.” There is no other group of people that I would rather be a part of than the Latter-day Saints. I have grown to know and love the members of this church so much and I want to be wherever they are or wherever they go after this life. 

In my own life, growing up in the gospel has been a huge blessing. And although I have been in the church all my life, I have not always lived it as I should. But when I do, I am simply better and happier. As I am now moving forward as a returned missionary, I hope the best years are ahead. I hope I never forget the things I have felt and seen, but continue forward with the foundation built on my mission. Coming home from my mission has reminded me of when I came home from an EFY camp. EFY was a joyful and spirit filled week and I will always remember the special love that I felt there. It was a very powerful experience for me. Upon returning back home, I remember feeling very sad and I started to cry. All I could think about was how amazing EFY was, and how badly I did not want to return home. I felt that the short week had changed me in a small way, because I was so involved in the gospel. I was scared of losing what I had felt there, and did not want to return to being who I was before: distracted, confused, and not purpose driven. I didn't develop the spiritual strength that I needed, and eventually did fall back into the distractions of life, and the malnourishment of my testimony, but I always remembered the impact EFY had on me. In comparison, the impact of my mission has been much greater, and my resolve to be a life-long disciple of Christ is firm.

I am so grateful for my mission and the blessings I have received. It is all true, but I feel like I could not even be mad if it wasn't true because I have been given so much because of it. Brad Wilcox told our mission that nothing would overwhelm us as much as realizing how much we are blessed when we really see it. I don’t know that I will ever fully see it in this life, but since then, I have recorded in a little green journal of mine, all of the blessings of the day every day. Without fail, every day, I have received blessings. My greatest blessings include my parents, my siblings, extended family, my personal growth and happiness, the opportunities I have to get an education and work, my temporal needs, and of course, growing my testimony of Jesus Christ. But there are so many little blessings that add on top of each other and become great. I don’t know why I have been given so much, but I hope that I can live up to the blessings that I have been given and also give. I strongly believe that striving to give as much as you have been given is one of the greatest calls and needs from the members of the church, despite how far we will fall short in that quest.

God is with us. Even though we may not see it, or understand how, He is mindful of us. I once heard a member share a story in a testimony meeting of a young men's hike he went on with his son. On the ascent, one of his young sons was complaining and wanted to be carried. He picked up his son in his arms and carried him. All the way his son was asking different things of him: to cover the sun from his eyes, or to hold him a different way. Although he was being carried, he told his dad that he was getting tired and that this was hard. His dad also felt tired, and that this was hard for him. What did his son know? Wasn’t he the one being carried? He told us that carrying his son on that hike was a profound spiritual experience for him. It reminded him of the Savior and how He carries us. Christ carries the real burden, but we don’t fully see or appreciate it with our perspective. We can still feel tired, but that does not mean Christ is not with us.

I would now like to bear my testimony in English

I do not know the meaning of all things, but I know that God loves His children more than we realize. He wants us to be happy, and to become like Him, and He’s provided those great possibilities through Jesus Christ. He wants to connect with us and help us. I think sometimes we just need to take time to feel His love. In your prayers, I invite you to not only speak, but also listen. Make time for silence in your personal prayers to feel the Spirit and to slow down. Make it more of a conversation, and less of a one sided list of needs, wants, and thank yous. From personal experience, some of my most powerful moments have been when I just sit in silent prayer. Not saying anything, but just being present. I think this is what Jacob meant when he said (Jacob 3:2)“O all ye that are pure in heart, lift up your heads and receive the pleasing word of God, and feast upon his love; for ye may, if your minds are firm, forever.”

I love you and thank you for being here today. I leave you with my testimony that Jesus Christ lives. I love Him all of my heart and devote my life to Him. May God bless each of you.

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It was also so good to be at my old ward! A lot of friends and family members came by and it's just been a good and fulfilling day.

So this will be the last email! The very end. Thanks to you all for reading and being a part of my mission experience. If you'd like to see or re read any of my past weekly emails, I actually have a blog of just my mission emails that you can see here:

Hopefully I haven't said anything too stupid in there for the world to read.

I'm in Utah until the 8th and then go up to Rexburg for college. If you're in the area and would like to meet, let me know. I do not have my old phone number, or any phone number (right now), so this email is best to reach me for the next little while.

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Love you all! Until we meet again, God bless!

- (Brother) Hyrum Wride

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Week 102.5 - The End

My dear friends, I am writing to you from the comforts of my home, Sandy Utah. I am no longer Elder, but Brother Wride. I just landed in Uta...